Wednesday Wisdom, Vol.2, Iss 3

A Valentine’s Day Message!

These days, it’s quite easy for messages to get lost in translation.  Tradition gives way to commercialism, and there is an entire generation that considers tales of origins to be nothing more than amusing fables. Christmas is now about presents, Easter is about fluffy bunnies and President’s Day garners excitement because it is an extra day out of school or work.

The best advice I’ve ever received was about self-preservation. Recently, a mentor uttered the same words that my father said to me when I almost married a man that could have almost destroyed my life: “remember who you are.” Those words are weighty because they trigger the cycle of introspection. The cycle of introspection demands that we hold steadfast to that which we believe to be true, and release that which only hinders us. What does this have to do with Valentine’s Day? Everything!

We are now in a culture that tells us that tomorrow is a day for men to grovel at their partner’s feet in an effort to show how important their partner is. Women are to expect rose petal trails that lead to diamond rings complimented by heart-shaped chocolate boxes. To neither give nor receive indicates an incompleteness that is a reflection of one’s inadequacy. What’s wrong with this picture? Everything!

Those who have brought into the commercialism of Valentine’s Day suffer one of two fates: either their insatiable desire for things is temporarily satisfied, or their insecurities and inadequacies are magnified because they are not recipients of those same things.

The tradition of Valentine’s Day is rooted in a history of demonstrated love for those closest to us. When you choose to “remember who you are,” that meaning cannot get lost. Relationships keep us afloat. The reality is that whether I get a box of candy from my loved one is not, by itself, an accurate reflection of how he feels about me. The opposite is also true. If, for some reason, he is unable to give me a box of chocolates, that does not mean he feels any less. This year, my personal challenge is to show the people around me that love and support me just how much that means to me. To do this effectively, I have to commit to doing it more than once a year. Remembering who you are means remembering the relationships that got you to where you are. In the same way that you receive love and support for the other 364 days in a year, challenge yourself to show the same.

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Andrena Sawyer is the Founder and President of P.E.R.K. Consulting, a program development consulting company. In addition to her work with nonprofits and start-ups, she leads workshops on personal and professional development for women across the country. Much of her content can be found in her eBook, The Other Side of Assertiveness.